magpiebrain

It has come to this. After many years of mis-directed mail, I have finally decided to put pen to paper (well, photon to monitor, but you get the idea) and state that I Am Not Sam Newman.

World, here me now. It is possible – nay likely – that more than one person has the same combination of first and last names as another individual. We know for example that there are at least 54 Dave Gormans in the world. That bloke went to the trouble of creating an entire TV series about the fact that the whole first name/surname thing doesn’t not guarantee a unique identifier for human beings. The Chinese, to their credit, have worked this out a while ago.

Now I’m trying to be nice about it. I have decided not to publish the emails from people asking me if I want to do documentary voice overs, well-wishers hoping my testicles get better soon (well, I think they meant prostate), or the offers to speak on the corporate circuit about my hilarious non-pc anecdotes about how I once called someone a monkey. Others, in a similar position to me, have very much gone on the offensive in this regard, but I’m not quite as funny as Tony Hawks (the comedian, not the skateboarder).

So, oh blogosphere, here my cry – I Am Not That Sam Newman – the controversial Australian sports personality. And for the record, despite the fact that I live in the UK, I’m not the other Sam Newman either – the Actor known for his voice over work, appearances in Holby City and the forthcoming lead role of Prince Andrei in War & Peace starring Brenda Blethyn and Malcolm McDowell.

I Am this Sam Newman.

But yes, I am related to Paul Newman. Feel free to forward on any royalty cheques my way.