I try to keep my blog relatively on-topic, and make sure its at least partially related to technology issues. However something has come to my attention that requires airing in public, before I explode in a towering rage. Hellblazer, perhaps my favourite all time comic series is being made into a film. For those who don’t know, Hellblazer tells the story of John Constantine, a Londoner mystic who spends his life drinking, pissing people off and messing around with the occult. John Constantine first appeared in Alan Moore’s run in Swamp Thing, and since getting his own comic has been written and drawn by such greats as Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon, Jamie Delano, Brian Azzarello and Warren Ellis. Noted for sharp humour, occasionally shocking material I look forward to each release of the graphic novels with genuine delight.

At the best of times the results of comics can be very varied – from the good (Batman, From Hell, Spiderman) to the bad (Batman and Robin). Fans of the source material are notoriously picky when it comes to translations of their beloved material. When I heard they were making a film, I thought I should try and keep an open mind. “Who is making it?” I ask. “Warner Brothers”. Hmm…ok…”Who is the director?.” “Francis Lawrence” I hear. Who? Turns out this is his film directorial debut. Credits to date include music Videos for Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez and P.O.D. Admitidly Spike Jonze’s only experience prior to Being John Malkovich was directing videos, so perhaps all is not lost. “Where is it set?” I ask again. “America” came the reply. Now I’m really worried. So much of John Constantine’s charm comes from the pithy Londoner in him – such much of the excellent backdrops to the stories being London itself. Then I remember High Fidelity, which survived the translation to America relatively intact. Now the big question. “Who is playing John Constantine” I ask? ” Keanu Reeves” comes the, frankly unbelievable reply.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the love of god, what were they thinking…

More information on this potential abomination in waiting can be found over at “Straight To Hell”:http://www.insanerantings.com/hell/movie/, probably the best Hellblazer fan site.